Practice For Friday

Today marks the end of our yearlong croquet hiatus. It was our practice game for the Friday tournament. We have a new set that seemed to work out really great. Those lawyers better watch out, cuz netsmartz is hot!

Lets beat on some lawyers.

Hey Netsmartz, Weve been challenged by a bunch of namby-pamby lawyers to a croquet tournament. They think they have the skillz to beat us. We play in the heat, play in the snow, we play at night, we even play in the office. They have no chance. Lets get together and practice some American "six wicket" croquet (or whatever). Roarke we need the set and and my mallet is in your car. If I remember correctly we are missing a turning post or something. Dave, lets get on making a new ranking chart. Everyone hands in...go team.

New Rule Proposal

For the Spring 2008 Season, we have a rule changes that we will need to have a official vote on:

Rule Change 1
Shots cannot be collected. Stiking an opponents ball means that you have 2 shots, not 2 more shots. If a player hits an opponent, takes the mallet head, then strikes another opponent, the player only has 2 shots. Under the old rules the player would have 3.

Rule Change 2
When poison is struck, the striking player only gets 1 shot - not the normal 2.


The polls are open to the left, please vote!

Sending You...

...A Birthday Greeting!

From all of us!

What a woeful scorekeeper I am.

Until I get the response videos from the LAST THREE GAMES edited up, please take solace in that I have finally gotten the box scores from those games up. Scores are up to date.

The decimal values in the wickets column results from the heart-shaped course laid out for the V-Day game. In order to not unfairy affect wicket averages, they are brought into ratio through the following formula. The result is rounded, using standard rules, to two decimal places.

(WicketsMade/WicketsTotal)=Wickets

That means that Dave who made 13 wickets in the 14 the wicket course has a wicket score (rounded to 2 decimal places) of 9.29.

Mano y Mano

Dave and Chris went head to head during an unscheduled croquet match. It was played near the flagpole at noon and was a grudgematch between Chris' newer, indestructible high density polyethylene croquet mallet head, and Dave's wood mallet head.

A Champion Humbled, a Son Sacrificed

The game started off unusual, as Roarke made it through both wickets on his 1st swing. Justin showed up late, forgoing social graces for a hot home cooked meal. Fueled by said meal, Justin blasted past his early competition and found himself poised for turning by round two. Mike Lynch missed opportunity after opportunity to overtake Justin, who finally aided by Christi, turned with gusto to make poison 1st with several rounds to spare. Meanwhile the now flabby & gluttonous champion Chris B struggled to force his ball through the 2nd wicket. Frustrated and desperate, he tried to cheat by playing a ball two times in a row, then feigned a misunderstanding of the rules. Roarke promptly called him out on the shady procedure and the game continued. A few rounds later Mike Hill made poison and came charging forward. Worried by the threat of poisons, the non-poisons came together in a dashing display of brutality. Justin's Ball became the center of a poison-bashing gang bang. It was used to make several kills and through the process got pimped around the entire course, all within one single round. The ensuing duress was so intense that the Justin's ball lost all its will to live. Having fallen further then it could handle, the poor thing did the only noble act it could and cleanly committed suicide, touching neither ball nor wicket post as it left the field.

Meanwhile Mike Lynch snuck himself past the herd and achieved poison. Chris B, still struggling with the 4th wicket, turned his angst on Dave, who'd been lured in with talk of teamwork. Chris brutally killed Dave against Mike Hill's poisoned ball, then shortly after hammered Mike Hill to death as well. Mike Lynch, having already slain his son, struck down Christi, then went after Chris B. Again, Chris made effort to bend the rules in his favor, arguing ball placement in futile hopes of salvation. Even if successful, such efforts would not have helped. This wasn't Chris's game. Several turns later, Mike Lynch struck him down for the win before Chris could even turn the course.

New Turning Posts

Our original turing posts have been put through the ringer over the last two season. I know that I can speak of breaking at least one of them, and I may have actually broken both! As an act of contrition I have made some new ones. These are 1/2" x 18" steel tube. Hopefully steel can withstand our enthusiasm. The stripes are electrical tape. Because of budget constraints, only the first in the color order are displayed.

Extra Extra!

Punxsutawney Phil Bribed!
Punxsutawney Phil refuses to see his shadow thus bringing a premature end to the winter croquet season. Bev must be afraid of the encroaching competition.

Bevington's Rookie Card for Sale

Conspiracy! Conspiracy!

An investigation has revealed scoring inaccuracies that have resulted in at least one player's rating being dropped lower than it's natural standing! How could such a thing happen? Who's to blame? A faceless system? Big Brother? A vast, league-wide conspiracy aimed at taking down the greatest threat to Bevington's lead? Simple error? An independent nonpartisan investigation is unlikely, so I doubt we'll ever know the truth. For now, Justin's rating is underrepresentative of his true playing skills. Thankfully observant eyes exposed the truth before his ego crumbled.




Justin's stats:

Wins: 2 (4pts, 3pts)
Kills: 7
Wickets: 73
Poisons: 4
Total Score: 91

Games played: 8

Justin's real & undoctored rating: 11.375
Justin's "official" score: 10.5

A difference of .875 & two ranks, or in human terms: Better than Dave.

[Update]

There was a bug in the scoring sheet and Justin's win bonuses were not being tabluated into his total points. We have corrected this problem. Good Catch Justin! BTW - the scores are rounded to two decimal points so his 11.375 is displayed as 11.38. 

Dream Teams...

Lynch 1 to Lynch 2: Can Chris get his revenge? Will the field crumble at the return of Roarke and Dave? Will the write of Mike Lynch’s win EVER make it to sendandashot?

Lynch 2 to Lynch 1: no, the field is already crumbled, and no.

Bev to Lynches: Yes! No! Up your nose with a rubber hose!

Today's game was made interesting by the application of team play. We left the light blue ball behind in the office and showed up with eight players. It was determined that Justin and Dave would make an alliance and alternate turns. It almost looked as though they were passing the ball back and forth. I'd say it sped up gameplay except for the fact that they went into a two person huddle before every shot.

Another thing that made this game interesting was the downfall of the Lynch duo. I did in fact get my revenge on Pa lynch, a revenge that tasted oh so sweet. It was made sweeter when I killed Roarke with his own mallet. Once again Matt played well enough to get poison but not well enough to stay poison. Christi was able to pass her wicket and kill him in one turn. She came close to killing the Dave/justin dream team, but decided to use her second shot to make a run for poison. In my opinion, (which i often give quite freely) she should have ended the game right there by killing them, but Justin/Dave were too good. Their combined strength delivered them the victory.

Mackydoodle also wanted me to make it known that the combined score for the Lynches in this game was lower than any other single score by another player. Roarke got in his jab by taking a snapshot of me and cutting my head off the picture.

Scott also gets an honorable mention for being the better man and stepping aside so others could play.
Kudos Scott!

The Ravages of Time

Oh my dearest Christi, how you hurt us!
A game does die when it is over and done.
Or minds are most ephemeral, gone is
exactly what happened so many days ago.
Now we are left with so much less than proof.
Only our fickle memories remain.



Of those we have a few brought to record:

Justin:
"Croquet? I thought we were doing Shakespeare?"

Scott:
"Did I even play the last game?"

MacDonald:
"UGH!!! FSCKING WICKETT!!!"

Christi:
"the day was like that of an arctic summer; lazy, yet windy, with the fierceness of a grandma unresigned to the idea of watching "Wheel" one more evening with her incontinent roommate, Gertrude"

"after blowing the miniscule shot twice to triumph at the end of the course, she was spared by the gods on the third attempt to strike at the orb with deft accurracy; using her mallet of taped justice, to finally become poison, and strike fear into the hearts of few"

Matt:
"I hate Chris"

Bevington:
"Listen to my words of croquet advice, they can only help you........and me."

Roarke"
"All in the Lynch family are happy that outsiders were not allowed victory"

Do you play croquet?

A little inspiration:

ML-quet

Martin Luther King Day 2008 - Gravely Point 

By event's end even the hatted and gloved of us felt the cold. Dave and Justin's dedication to our sport was able to steel them against the weather. Two games were played under the crystal clear sky, shadowed regularly by aircraft departing Reagan.  In our effort to make sure that Bevington could not get a moments peace we attacked the plastic port-a-johns, the poor soul below was in the one at the far end.  This taxi driver took our 'lord of the flies' moment without a single protest. We all extend our apologies.

Game 1 was a non-traditional course woven into the stand of evergreens. The pineneedles covering the ground took a few strokes to understand. It is surprising how much they can suck the momentum out of the ball. Roarke opened the day by ricocheting out from the starting post.  It took him 3 turns to finally move onto the first wicket. The terrain didn't slow down the rest of the field. Bevington kept on his game and was first to poison. Bevington was also promptly killed by Dave with a send through the final single on Dave's return (see video below). Scott soon gave Dave his due and killed him 1 wicket from poison with a attack through the pine branches. Roarke slowplayed his way to poison. Scott killed Justin and Christi both after they passed wicket 9. The poison on posion endgame raced to the walkpath boundary. Roarke was unable to keep his ball inbounds and suicided his way to Scott's second win of the season. Scott deserved the point he wouldn't get. He played a very strong match.

Game two was between Scott, Chris, and Justin.  Scott's game stayed on during the second match. Justin's game was doubly so. He worked his away around the field like a man possessed. Only Chris was able to slow him up. Dave's skill with the short mallets last season has withered. He is getting closer and closer to using the The Warden.  Neither Roarke nor Christi were able to put up much of a fight either. Chris was distracted trying to kill Christi at the center wicket while Roarke crept back to the starting post. An opening was given Roarke that he closed on himself aptly. Scott got poison with Roarke sitting inches away for the easy kill. In the end Scott fought down to a poison on poison match. This time his foil was Justin. He should have had him but jumped on the killing shot. Justin did not make this mistake an took the second and final game of the day.

Thanks to everyone for coming out for the day! As an extra treat - here's a hurried video of Chris vs the Wicket. Bev hates the rule that poison can be played against. That makes us smile. We'd all tease him less if he would just stop playing so damned well.

While the Cats Away....

With last season’s leaders Mike and Roarke out of the mix, it was fair game for anyone to win. Bevington, brandishing his new customized mallet, made promises of victory while Dave was eager for a win after his three game absence.

Justin sprinted out to the early lead, only to get stuck at wicket #4. The field slowly surpassed him and came together to form a traffic jam at the turning post. Rough and bumpy terrain were causing short distance misses left and right.

Bevington was able to break from the pack and quickly became poison. Christi made a valiant effort to make poison but instead found herself the first victim in Bevington’s impressive killing spree.

Back at the middle wicket the blue ball and the sole poison ball played cat & mouse until Bevington made a long range shot to knock Dave out of the game. In the same turn, he proceeded to pick off Scott and MacDonald with two more distance shots, executed with relative ease.

Justin’s last remaining hope was to make an aggressive run for poison. His chances looked promising until Bevington hunted him down hiding behind the 9th wicket for his fifth and final kill.

Faulty Bookkeeping!

Protest, Protest, Protest!

Here I am, in Vegas. I get sent vicious picture messages declaring the inevitability of a certain player's victory. The box scores are updated, but no write-up! FOUL I CALL!

Who's Got the Magic Stick?

Somebody's rating is about to go through the roof! Better watch out Netsmartz!

Killing Through a Wicket

The first rule change suggestion for the season. We do so love the smell of democracy and controversy, they've got a wonderful way of playing off one another with such an uplifting effect.




I've put together a little video outlining the argument. Now it's time to vote, contest, and bring all that fervor off the field and onto the web. I have added the poll to the sidebar right beneath the standings for the season.

[edit]
Perhaps the video is TOO small? I think that next time I will stick with images...